Cool As Ice

Vanilla Ice - Cool As Ice DVD 

By Sonita Dowd

This major silver screen failure is due for re-release again on 6 September. It was a flop way back in 1991, however this time its cheesy lines, poor acting and unrealistic story line contribute to its 80’s neon retro glow that we were too young to see first time round.

From its excruciatingly embarrassing cover tag line “When a girl has a heart of stone, there is only one way to melt it. Just add Ice” the film possesses a so bad its good stance.
The opening scene depicts Vanilla Ice and his crew hanging around in a disused warehouse, when suddenly Mr Ice starts throwing some super dance moves that are a mix of Tecktonik and get that bug off me panic, queue Bobbi Brown (don’t blink, you’ll miss her).

After this Vanilla Ice rides onto the next town on his garish yellow motorcycle, with side kicks in tow as a modern day rap version of James Dean in A Rebel Without A Cause. On the way he sets his eyes on a beautiful girl and jumps his bike over a fence into the path of her horse, which sends her flying off... sweet seduction techniques.

As the film ensues, he plays the super cool thug routine to lure her away from her straight laced boyfriend. The film moves slowly and is helped along by a series of painfully embarrassing chat up lines and hilarious predictability.

Its hilarious and includes some amazing gems such as “Drop that zero and get with the hero”. The ultimate B movie!